Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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