Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Someone shit on the floor
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
How external is "for external use only"?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
