Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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