Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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