**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
do nipples grow back?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
