i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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