So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
bring money and cleavage
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize