the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
