Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
