i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
