i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
bring money and cleavage
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
