i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
