She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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