i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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