Where did you get a picture of my penis
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
