drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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