it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
