So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Why is your signature on my underwear?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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