oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
false alarm, still single
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
