omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
