WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
