Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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