I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize