Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
