Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
