Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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