You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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