she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
