You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
