he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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