So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
