There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
