so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Do you have feelings for this penis?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
