super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
