This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize