I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
