wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I need a beard to bite.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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