We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
