I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
