Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize