New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
