I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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