He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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