Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize