So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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