how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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