I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
