his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My life is pants optional.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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