apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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