Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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