Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
