Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just googled if crying burns calories
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
