never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
