oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
