This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
