You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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