Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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