i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
