Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
