my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Did I show you my penis last night?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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