I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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