I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
