K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
A bitchslap is in order.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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