i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
