I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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