I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
