My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My vagina is officially offended.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Randomize
