Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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