Sponge bath it is.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Nicole vs. Life
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize