she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
