would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
