why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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