youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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