I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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