So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
