This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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