Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
