I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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