This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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