I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
