spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
